Cast of Characters

I use pseudonyms – nomes de guerre, as it were — for everyone I write about on this blog.  No one’s real name is a big secret; if you meet me in person, or even just ask me, I’ll tell you their real first names, but leaving a Google breadcrumb trail to everyone I know and love is not my objective here. I try to respect the privacy of my friends and family as much as possible.  That’s why I don’t mention them much.

For me, “Jen” will do just fine.  I was born in the wake of Love Story and so I share my name with the fifty-gazillion other women born around the same time who were tagged with “America’s most popular girl’s name, 1970 through 1984.”  If I can reference someone easily by their relationship to me (“my mom”), I’ll do just that.  However, frequent references or long stories make that awkward, so I’ve developed the following pseudonyms:

The Hubster — The man, the myth, the legend: my husband.  Friend, partner, lovah. He’s usually a better spouse to me than I am to him.  He cooks, he cleans, he earns a salary more than double mine, even without benefit of my graduate degree.  Long live the wage gap!

Monk (The Monkeyboy) — My oldest son, born in 2005 after several years of trying, thanks to what Akeeyu calls “Clomid and fucking.” Looks like the Hubster, acts like me.  Headstrong, with a side of irrational. Now I know what Hub has to deal with.

Goose — My younger son, born in 2008.  Polar opposite of his brother (looks like me, laid back like the Hubster). Also a product of the benefits of chemistry. The Hubster calls him “Daredevil” because he has no fear and a very high pain threshold.

OldChristine – One of my best friends.

Beamer — One of my husband’s best friends and also one of mine.  Husband to OldChristine.

Frieda — Another best friend.

Dr. Maestro — My OB/GYN.  I know this profession often gets a bad rap, but I l.o.v.e. my OB.  He is talented, skilled and dedicated, with the intuition of a woman.  If I had to, I’d trust him with my life.  Oh, wait.  I have.