It’s funny because it’s true. Sort of. In a way. You know what I mean.

by Jen on February 24, 2010

in Everyone is entitled to my opinion,My sister's a lesbian and all I got was a lousy t-shirt

I need something to relieve the string of posts about snow, snow and more snow. (By the way… it’s going to snow again! Go figure!)  This coming weekend is the annual infamous Ski Weekend (at least there will be snow) and for the first time my little sister is coming. Yay! However, she’s coming without her girlfriend of the past several years.  I have yet to hear the whole story on this (and whether the situation is permanent), but her romantic circumstances — be they what they may or may not turn out to be — had me considering the following.  It’s not original; it’s been all over the Interweb, but I still love the truth of it.  I tried to chase it to its source through a series of links, but the links I was following were so circuitous I couldn’t find the origin.

10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage is “Wrong”:

  1. Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
  2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay. In the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
  3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets, because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
  4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
  5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
  6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.
  7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
  8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.
  9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
  10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

1 jen February 24, 2010 at 8:40 pm

I love this list! I can’t believe I haven’t seen it yet.
jen´s last blog ..hide (and seeking) My ComLuv Profile

2 jen February 24, 2010 at 8:41 pm

Well, hadn’t seen it yet. Because obviously now I have.
jen´s last blog ..hide (and seeking) My ComLuv Profile

3 Jenni February 24, 2010 at 10:20 pm

Funny list! As of today my state recognizes gay marriages performed in other states, so appropriate as well.

I recall a list from a women’s studies class in college that was about reasons a parent should be disappointed if their kid was straight – obviously meant to be ironic. Have you ever seen it? I can’t find it online anywhere, but I don’t really know how to look for it.
Jenni´s last blog ..RTT: Dude, I Don’t Even Know My ComLuv Profile

4 chaits March 18, 2013 at 3:07 am

didnt know that there was actually a list like this…

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