Maternity Clothes Rant

by Jen on November 21, 2007

in Does this baby make me look fat?,Rant of the Week

Last weekend, I spent time shopping for maternity clothes in order to fill in the gap in my maternity wardrobe so that I have something to wear right now. The capris and short skirts that got me through my late-first-trimester, early-second-trimester, I’m-not-fat-I’m-pregnant awkward stage in my first pregnancy aren’t going to cut it in my second. After all, it’s not June and July this time, it’s November and December.

I’d forgotten that maternity clothes makers seem to have their own set of “What Not to Wear” rules when it comes to dressing the pregnant woman. Apparently, in between hits on their crack pipes, they’ve made a whole set of assumptions about how pregnant women want to dress.

  • Since I’m having a baby, I must want to dress like a baby. Therefore, pastel colors of pink and blue are preferred, as are patterns like cute polka-dots.
  • Since my uterus is growing, I must also have grown several inches in height. Therefore, pants are made to come in only one inseam length. Petite (or even “short”) maternity clothes are as rare as the pygmy three-toed sloth.
  • Since pregnancy has granted me an awesome new rack, I must want to show it off as much as possible, Therefore, all clothes must be extremely low cut or otherwise revealing.
  • Since I will be pregnant for a mere forty weeks, I must want to spend as much or more on maternity clothes as I spend on my real wardrobe that I can wear year after year. Therefore, quality maternity clothes will be $90 blouses, $108 jeans and $200 dresses.

Luckily, I was able to find a few choice items of the type of things I had in mind. Hopefully it will be enough to carry me through until I can break out the big clothes.

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

1 Valerie November 22, 2007 at 11:29 am

It is nice having someone else to go through the amnio and stuff with. I think I will be a week or 2 behind you. I see my OB on Dec. 5th and will talk to him about scheduling it then. I am anxious to find out that everything is really ok in there. I swear every time I go to the doctor I am convinced that the baby is going to be dead. Must be left over infertile stuff in my head. Thanks for stopping over and commenting and I hope you and your family have a nice thanksgiving.

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